Nope, not yet

I thought I might wake up feeling better about things today, but no. Not even close. I'm still bitter about the bicycle. Still bitter that I have to wake up at 8am five days in a row. Still bitter that I don't have Internet. Still bitter that the job that promised me health insurance has arbitrarily decided they can't afford it now and aren't going to give it to me. Motherfuckers, don't they know that that's the only reason I even TOOK that fucking job? Now I have to go look for another one. I HATE looking for work.

I also hate that I'm going to be without a bathroom for two days again, provided the motherfuckers show up like they're supposed to tomorrow. I'd like to go stay with a friend, but the Internet assholes are coming Thursday morning and I need to be here to let them in.

From what I hear, certain people regret challenging me to post something everyday for a month. From what I hear, certain people didn't realize I was so angry and hateful right now. I tried to warn certain people about this in the first place, I distinctly remember saying, "I really don't want to talk about things right now, I have nothing to say," but certain people didn't want to listen. Too late now, oh fucking well. Everyday for a month. You got it. Happy now?

More fuel for the fire

Things were looking up for a minute there.  It was a good weekend, I got lots of sleep.  I made an appointment for someone to come finish my bathroom floor Wednesday morning. (they'd better fucking show up)  I went and bought lots of happy, clothes and a wine rack.  All kinds of shit, crazy on sale.  All over the neighborhood.

So yeah, I thought things might be on an upswing, I thought my mood might be about to improve, then I got a phone call last night informing me that the bicycle I left in New Orleans had been stolen.

Moth-er-FUCK-er.

I LOVED that fucking bicycle.  We went everywhere together.  FUUUCK.

This is the only picture I have.  I took it with my phone when I brought it home:

                


Now I have no fucking transportation when I visit.  Fantastic.  This is getting better and better.

It's quite a feeling, being fucked over in absentia.  I wasn't in the same zip-code, wasn't even in the same TIME ZONE.  And still?

I don't even know what else to say anymore.

Shadow Shot Sunday

Brooklyn, New York
at dba after the Saints game last week


dba is the best place to watch a Saints game around here.  Bar None is too intense, East Village Tavern is too disconnected.  dba is like home, especially when Simon is there with his Tchoup Shop, can you say crawfish macque choux, seafood gumbo and short-rib pies?  Best bar food ever.  Simon and Jack were sitting next to me on the plane back to NY when I went to New Orleans for Halloween, but I was too whacked out on Valium to hold a coherent conversation.  We exchanged Halloween stories and I passed out, that was pretty much the extent of our interaction until we landed.

I took this photo out back smoking and drinking with the boys after the game.  It was an easy win, a boring game, and we had already moved on to plotting world domination...

                


dba is one of my favorite bars on the planet.  I spent way too much time and money at their Frenchmen St. location when I lived in New Orleans.  They have live music every night down there.  My friend Julia works the door and has saved me a small fortune in cover charges over the past couple of years.

I left a ridiculously expensive pair of sunglasses at the bar after I took that picture that night.  My mission to retrieve them was quite the emotional roller coaster.  When I called the next day I was shocked and thrilled to hear that they had them.  Then the L train fucked me and I couldn't make it down.  I called back and they promised to hold them until the following day.  I made it down, ordered a drink and waited for the bartender to go look for them.  After looking everywhere, she couldn't find them.  Shit.

So I ordered another drink while she texted the bartenders from the previous evening to ask where they had left them.  As I finished my drink she came over to say, "Sorry, they said they were by the cash register, but I don't see them.  I've looked EVERYWHERE, even the office.  Maybe the clean up people took them, I don't know..."  Shit.  Depressing.

So, I ordered another drink to help with the train ride home.  And the barback started chatting me up.  I told him the tale and he said, "Oh man.  That sucks.  Whattaya gonna do though, huh?"

No shit.  Whattaya gonna do?  As we continued to chat and I finished my drink, the bartender came over.  She said, "Hey, give me your phone number, just in case we find them somewhere."  And the barback said, "Where were they supposed to be?"  And she said, "By the register" and he went to look and found them in about two seconds.

dba.  Best. Bar. Ever.

  vist Shadow Shot Sunday here.

That might help

        

It certainly couldn't hurt.  Wine shipment from Longboard came in.  Wine is always good for improving my mood.  It's always fun when the doorman has a package for me, this one was the most timely I could think of.  It won't last long.  I'd like to say I'm going to save some for when the boyfriend comes to town next week, but I really can't make any promises.  I'm off until Tuesday.  Look out.  

It's actually the first time I've had wine in the house since I moved in.  I don't have a wine rack, which is on my list of things I need to get this weekend.  I didn't even have any wine glasses in the house, all my nice ones broke and I left my crappy ones in New Orleans, figuring I would get nicer ones when I got here, but I forgot.  So I went to the housewares department at Zabar's and bought eight of the nicest wine glasses I've ever had:

                   

I believe this is the phenomenon that Janson refers to as "going to buy some happy."  It worked, having them in the house and knowing that they're mine makes me pretty fucking happy.  I've never had wine glasses this nice before.  Although, I haven't even taken them out of the box yet, which means I haven't opened any of the wine yet, which is obviously a problem that needs to be fixed, along with my internet, but that's another story, maybe for tomorrow, maybe not.  Depends how much liquid happy I get through tonight.

One down, two to go

Well, that's over with. Thanksgiving really is an awful holiday. What exactly are we celebrating again? The fact that a bunch of white people came over in boats, raped and pillaged the natives and stole their land? Right. Somehow, I'm less than thankful.

Yesterday was a good day though, the Saints won, the curry was delicious, and the rum was aged. Best of all, we didn't have to see or talk to anyone else. Her neighbor tried to get us to come over to "celebrate" but we hid downstairs with the lights out.

So now there's only Christmas and New Year's to get through and I'm in the clear. This is absolutely the worst time of year. It's nauseating, all that forced cheer and insincerity. Endless marketing and consumerism. Complete stangers admonishing me to "have a happy holidaaaaay!!" Christmas decorations. Christmas music. I'm going to smack somebody.

Thanksgiving is easier to avoid than Christmas. People are much more insistent about Christmas for some reason. They're all in your face and very forceful. What really kills me is how crazy people get every year when they ask what I'm doing for the holiday and I say "Nothing." They go absolutely insane.

"WHAT? OH, NOOO!! That's AWWWFUUUL! You CAN'T be alone on CHRIIIISSTMAAASS!!"

Really? That's funny. I think I can, actually.

It never ceases to amaze me that these same people couldn't give a fuck less that I'm alone on the other 364 days out of the year, but all of a sudden on Christmas it's a federal fucking emergency. Seriously, people? Go fuck yourselves.

Balloons

It's a miserably cold and shitty day in New York today.  It's Thanksgiving and that fucking parade starts two blocks from where I live so instead of being able to sleep in peacefully this morning, I was woken up at 8am by news helicopters whirling around overhead.  Fan-fucking-tastic.

I should have worn earplugs to sleep, I was given fair warning last night.  I left work early and wanted a nice quiet night at the cafe on my corner with my computer.  Instead I came home to mayhem in the neighborhood.  There were people everywhere, streets were blocked off.  The Jews for Jesus were giving away free hot chocolate.  I questioned their motives, then I questioned if they had put drugs in the hot chocolate.  I was disappointed when they said, "No, that would be too expensive."

Anyway, I went to go investigate the commotion, turns out the balloons were around the corner from my building.  A few were tied down and uncovered, but most were squashed and strangled under nets, which was bizarre and slightly depressing.


    

Some of the balloons looked like they'd had a bit too much to drink, especially these guys...

 

            

Bizarre for sure.

There's a Saints game to watch.  Me and Jenelle are cooking Indian food and drinking rum.  I don't have to wake up early tomorrow, and there aren't any parades that I am aware of.  Things are looking up.

Very funny, Jonny

Yeah.  This guy is HILARIOUS.

Thanks, man.  That might be the first (genuine) smile I've had on my face since I saw Kirsten and David last week.

Better your wall than mine

That's that horrible painting that was in my mother's apartment when I got it.  Remember that fucking thing?  It's hanging on a wall at an Asian restaurant in Flushing now.  I went to take a look a while back, I don't even remember the name of the place or where it is, to be honest.  All I know is that it looks much better on their wall than it did on mine.  Good fucking riddance.

Fuck this Christmas music is killing me.  I'm at the deli on the corner because I still have no internet.  They're playing non-stop Christmas music and it's making me want to break things.

But anyway, I came across that picture and had to laugh.  I gave the painting to some dude on craigslist.  I gave most of her shit to him, lamps and couches and chairs and more awful paintings.  He got all kinds of crap out of my hair.  The house looks so much better now.

Except the fucking bathroom floor.  If something isn't done about it soon I don't know what's going to happen.  I can't look at it anymore, much the same way I felt about the painting.  But I have a plan.  It's all coming together.

Sorry for the unfocused randomness here.  Actually, no.  I'm not sorry.

The music, I can't take it anymore.  I have to go, I have to leave.  Can't do it.  Tomorrow will be better, I swear...

What else?

My journey to Brooklyn to retrieve my sunglasses last night was a complete failure. The L train wasn't running which of course no one mentioned until after everyone had been waiting for a half an hour. Fantastic. So I didn't get back to the house until almost 2 in the morning and I still had piles of laundry all over the bed that needed to be put away. Then I passed out and had to be up a few hours later. I'm exhausted. I have to be at work in an hour, and there's no telling when I'll be done. I'm excited to see what else might go wrong today. Perhaps the train will get stuck in the tunnel for three hours on the way to work. Maybe once I get to work the computers will crash (again!) and they won't be fixed until the end of my shift. Maybe when I get home from work the pipes will have burst in the apartment next door and my closets will be flooded. Maybe I'll come home to find that zombies have broken into my apartment and stolen my microwave.

Who knows. Anything is possible. But I'm ready. I've given up hoping things will get better, I've accepted my new reality of hellfire and damnation, mayhem and misery. Just going with the flow, sailing the seas of destruction, waiting for the winds to change. It's a hell of a ride, people...

Something good happened today

Actually, two good things happened today.  One was that the $250.00 sunglasses I thought I lost were found.  I called the bar I was at last night and lo and behold, miracle of miracles, the bartender had them.  Holy shit.  Now I have to go all the way to Brooklyn and back tonight to retrieve them.  Boo.

The other good thing was that I tried to go shopping for a pair of boots because it's starting to get cold here but they were all too expensive so I didn't get any, BUT when I got home Cesar said, "Oh, I have a package for you!"  And lo and behold, miracle of miracles, it was a beautiful pair of leather boots, a gift from my friends in Palm Beach.  Amazing when life literally hands you exactly what you need.

Otherwise, everything is still fucked.  I heard Christmas music today for the first time while I was shopping and it made me want to strangle someone.  Oh, here's a picture of the monstrosity that is now in the lobby of our building at work:

                            

I took that picture Saturday when I walked in and saw them putting it up.  I was horrified.  I wanted to post it yesterday, but I was writing from my phone and I couldn't get the picture thing to work.  I've been trying to post by text but that shit doesn't work.  I can't get them to come do my internet at home until December 2nd.  Fuck fuck fuck.

I told the bathroom guys to go fuck themselves and give me my money back for the damn floor.  Someone else can do that shit.

I'm tired.  I'm tired of looking at this computer screen.  I'm tired of talking to you right now.  I have piles and piles of laundry to do and it HAS to be done tonight and I have to go all the way out to Brooklyn and back.  I have to wake up early and work a long ass today tomorrow.  I have nothing else to say.  Goodnight.