Victory?

I'm really not sure how to feel here.

On the one hand, I'm thrilled that it looks like the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" military crap is finally going to go away.  I know that it would be a huge step forward in the struggle for gay rights, and it would be absolutely wonderful for all the gays and lesbians currently enlisted or aspiring to enlist, but there's something I've always wondered.

My beloved gays and lesbians, why are you so eager to join an organization that clearly doesn't want you as a member?  Why so gung-ho to defend a country that only 17 lousy years ago, under public pressure,  finally started to warm up to the idea of even allowing you to join its military?  Even still, it was under some bullshit, homophobic clause of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," or in other words, "We're Going To Stick Our Heads In The Sand And Pretend Gays Don't Exist And Force You To Lie About Who You Are On a Daily And Consistent Basis Otherwise Your Ass Is Fired."  Basically, having your fundamental human (and don't forget Constitutional) rights trampled to death like that poor fucker on Black Friday a couple of years ago.

I say fuck 'em.  You deserve better.  And how well do we really think this is going to work here, people?  Women STILL put up with truckloads of bullshit (and violence) in the military from these dumb fucks, a quick Google search just brought up hundreds of recent articles and websites.  Does anyone really think it's going to be any better or safer for a gay man?  Or a lesbian?  Yeah, I can't wait for some fucking drunk, dumb-ass jarhead to get pissed off when some hot dyke refuses to fuck him.  That's going to turn out really well, don't you think?

Yet, at the same time, I desperately, passionately want for all of my fellow human to be given complete and one hundred percent full and equal rights in the eyes of the law, and in the eyes of our hearts if at all possible.  I feel this way, and I don't even fucking LIKE most of my fellow human beings.  But as you know I love my gays and lesbians, very much, and I want what's best for them.  I'm just not sure if the military is it.  Although I'm not sure if the military is what's best for ANYONE, but we can get into that some other time.

Yes, I know this is about a fight for human rights, and it's about more than just joining the military.  It's about acceptance and equality and fighting for gay rights, the only group left that it's still "OK" to discriminate against.  And it's not exactly like there's a tidal wave of gays and lesbians breaking down the door to enlist.

But I kind of wish my gay boys would just stick to being design and theater majors, that way I can keep wearing nice clothes and enjoying Broadway shows.  Is that wrong of me?  Or am I just being selfish here?

For those who are curious...

...and apparently some of you are, the photo in my previous post was taken looking down the stairwell in my building from the sixth floor, which is the floor I live on.  Good thing I've got an elevator!

Going down

Change of scenery

It's nice being back in New Orleans.  Things are reassuringly the same.  Same beautiful houses, same daily gun violence that never fails to blow my mind when I think about how few people live here and how many die each year.  The beignets are the same, the French Quarter hasn't changed.  Our football team will still give you heart failure down to the very last play of the game.  The streets are the same.  The city is the same.  The government is still hopelessly broken, and we still have the best musicians the country has to offer.

The only thing I found that was different was the Mississippi river.  I can't remember the last time I saw it so low.  A couple of months back it looked like this:

              


It's always been my favorite place to sit.  Of course it was one of my first stops when I got here Thursday.  Right now it looks like this:

                



Really trying to remember the last time I saw it like that.  Not quite sure what to make of it.  I kind of like it though.

wandering

I'm in New Orleans right now.  I came in for a family wedding, to visit Sweetheart before I snap in half from lack of sex, and to take a break from the apartment from hell.  It's been great being able to shower without a wall full of peeling plaster staring me in the face.  It's been especially great having a kitchen (and a honey who makes me duck paninis for breakfast).  I had forgotten the simple pleasures of a stove upon which to cook.  I had also forgotten that apartments usually have kitchen sinks and people aren't supposed to be doing their dishes in the bathroom.  So I'm really enjoying a comfortable place to crash.

The wedding was lovely, as far as weddings go.  As you may know, I'm not the biggest fan of weddings, especially after what happened last time.  But this one was painless, a beautiful ceremony in Jackson Square followed by a second-line through the French Quarter ending with a great reception overlooking the river.  Food, booze, family.  Very nice.

Aside from all that though, I really fucking miss New York.  I'm getting spoiled as shit up there and I hate myself for it.  I hate it because it's going to make it impossible to leave, and I'm going to have to leave because I can't stay in one place for too long and I miss the West Coast and I kind of have a plan to move back there, maybe Seattle or back to (shudder) the Bay Area, but the plan requires me to stay in New York for a while longer, like at least a year or two and by that time I'll be so used 3am sushi deliveries and a 24 hour Duane Reade half a block away that I will be hopelessly stuck there for all eternity.  Or at least until I can figure out how to open a bar somewhere in South America.

Brazil.  It should be in Brazil.

Lazy evening

New York, NY
Hudson River