Thursday, June 10, 2010

Passing the buck

It's great not being the boss.  All day long I hear all kinds of stupid shit, and because I'm not the boss, it's really not my problem.  I get to say, "Sorry. I just work here."

"You don't carry Heineken?  Why?  Why don't you carry Heineken?  How can you NOT carry Heineken?"

"I don't know, baby.  I just work here..."

"How much?  You guys are charging THAT MUCH for a Belvedere martini?  Are you SERIOUS?"

"Honey, I don't set these prices, OK?  I just work here..."

"Hi!  I'm Blah-Blah-Blah from So-and-So distributors and I have a bunch of garbage I would like you to taste and buy for this restaurant."

"I can't help you with all that, darlin'.  I just work here..."

It's not that I'm lazy.  It's just that at this particular time in my life, I really can't bring myself to care that the restaurant down the street only charges fifteen bucks for a corkage fee and you think it's ridiculous to have to pay any more than that.

I can assure you, lady, I don't give a flying fuck what the restaurant down the street, in your home-town, or on the motherfucking moon charges.  We charge twenty, OK?  Deal with it.

Oops.  I mean, "I'm sorry, ma'am.  I just work here..."