Eye Candy

Manu National Park, Amazon rainforest, Peru.  Now this puts the 'lust' in wanderlust... For the straight girls and the gay boys.

 Yum.

Eye Candy photos are always mine. Recognize, bitches!

Aloha!

I was talking to my father today.  He just got to Maui last night with Vernice.  They're going to be there for two weeks.  I was saying how much I missed them.

Papa Ron: "So come to Maui."

Me: "I'm broke!"

Papa Ron: "I'll buy you a ticket."

Me: "Seriously?"

Papa Ron: "Yes! Take my credit number, go online, and buy yourself a fuckin' ticket!"

Me: "How much is too much to spend?"

Papa Ron: "Whatever it takes!"

Me: "Seriously?"

Papa Ron: "Don't go nuts."

I leave Wednesday morning.  I'm staying until November first.  Aloha!

Legalize it.

I like  this.

WHO DAT!!

Picture this: Fifty or sixty Saints fans on a street corner in San Francisco, all waving white napkins and screaming, "WHO DAT! WHO DAT! WHO DAT SAID DEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS! WHO DAT!"

It was a beautiful thing.

If you're in San Francisco and you want to watch a Saints game, the Black Magic Voodoo Lounge is the place to be.  It's on Lombard and Franklin.  Everybody in the room will be from Louisiana.  New Orleans y'at accents everywhere.  It is LITERALLY like being in New Orleans for four hours.  Seriously.  If you've never been to New Orleans and want to know what it's like, go there for a Saints game.  It's the real deal.  It's us being us.  Yeah you right, baby!

Hell of a game yesterday.  48-27.  The Saints killed it.  They're undefeated.  Un-fucking believable.  Bless you boys.

The place was insane by half-time.  Music blaring, Dr. John, Rebirth Brass Band. A cute boy in glasses grabbed me and started twirling me around the dance floor.  Yes.  On one foot.  With a broken knee.  Give me enough Maker's Mark and Abita Amber and anything is possible!

I met Regina, who I love.  She's in a leg brace right now too!  We're going to go dancing when we can walk again.

More hot Louisiana boys. Delicious. Fuck, I miss my southern Louisiana men.  Men who are MEN.  Not these pretty city boys.  When I go out in SF, there are rarely guys worth hitting on. But at the Black Magic Voodoo Lounge during a Saints game? A room full of men I want to fuck. Look at these cutie pies, from Napa:

Yum.  I want them all.  First separately, for a minimum of four hours each.  Then, all four at once.  All night. Yum again.

When our boys were finished thrashing the Giants, the place exploded.  We screamed.  People were dancing on the bar, standing in the windows.  We second-lined down the street.  Yes, even me.  On crutches.

Yeah you right indeed.  Geaux fucking Saints.  WHO DAT!

GEAUX SAINTS

I'll be watching the Saints and the Giants at the Black Magic Voodoo lounge on Lombard and Franklin tomorrow morning.  Where will you be?

http://whodatzone.com/

Adventures in Peruvian medical care

Or, Las aventuras en el cuidado médico Peruano

First of all, let me say that whatever Peruvians are lacking in technology, they make up for in love.  Especially those ladies at the medi-center on top of the mountain.  There was really nothing they could do for me, so they gave me lots of hugs and kisses.  The nurses at the hospital, very hands on.  Lots of hugging and saying soothing things in Spanish.

It wasn't the horror show you might imagine, although the equipment wasn't exactly new, and things were pretty casual.  When the orthopedic specialist came to see me, he introduced himself by his first name.  Alvaro.  Rosa, the doctor who came with me from Machu Picchu did the same when we met.  Check out the rusty wheels on the x-ray stand.  And what's with those wooden steps!  See the girl in the doorway?  That was the X-ray technician.  She looks like she's on her way to the movies!

And check out Rosa, my doctor!  She's hot!  And she's wearing jeans and a tight top!

I didn't realize they weren't going to give me painkillers until I asked for them.  You're paying for everything out of pocket, and unfortunately, most Peruvians are broke.  Meanwhile, at the ER here in SF, they force-fed me vicodin and morphine the minute I walked in the door.  Well, maybe not FORCE-fed.

Anyway, they even asked me before taking the X-rays!  They were like, "Are you sure? Because it's 60 soles?"  Which is like twenty bucks.  Go ahead.  Take ten.

So, they never offered painkillers and I didn't think to ask.  Once Rosa was gone and I was alone and all the adrenaline wore off, the pain came on.  Hard.

When the nurses came in I was howling in pain.  They finally hooked me up to an I.V. of I don't know what but it knocked me the fuck out.  Which was exactly what I wanted.

After that, things were pretty much fine.  They kept the pain meds coming and let me use the internet to email the exciting news to my ride from the airport and work.  I was even considering having the surgery to fix it right there in Cusco.

Until the apple incident.

I will say, I did notice that they weren't exactly diligent about using rubber gloves.  Which is quite different from the U.S., where they won't come within 50 feet of you without a biohazard suit.  But I was still surprised when a nurse strolled into my room to ask me a question while she was eating an apple.  OK, whatever.  I went with it.  I asked her if someone could unhook the tube from my I.V. needle and help me to the bathroom.  She said sure, and went ahead and did it herself.

With the apple still in her hand.

I wish I were making this up.  And really, what could I say?  Their house, not mine.  Fuck it.

What's that?  You want to slice my knee open and put it back together again?  Well, only if it won't interrupt your lunch...

In defense of Levi

Leave Levi alone.

OK, I'm tired of everyone giving this kid so much shit.  Yes, there are classier ways he could have capitalized on his fifteen minutes, rather than Playgirl and his questionable but hilarious pistachio commercial, but come on!  He's a teenager for fuck's sake!  Let him be, he doesn't know any better.  How smart were YOU when you were that age?  Actually, I think the kid is admirably self-aware.  He knows what's he doing.  He's getting paid.

Although, I will say, I don't like this Tank Jones fellow.  I think he's a bad influence on Levi and taking advantage of him, much like Colonel Parker and Elvis Presley.  Run, Levi!  Run!

Anyway, I can't wait to see the Playgirl.

I know, I know, shame on me.  Dirty old lady.  "But he's just a teenager!  Leave him alone!  Let him be!"

Yeah.  Well.  WhatEVER...

Crabby Jack's

Next time you go to New Orleans, you've got to go to Crabby Jack's.  It's in Jefferson Parish, on the way out towards Harahan.  It's kind of hard to find.  Take Claiborne until it turns into Jefferson Hwy, and it's just past the railroad tracks, right at Knox Rd.  It's very non-descript, easy to miss it, even though there's not much in that area.  If you get to Ochsner Medical Center, you've gone too far.  Go back.

Get the gumbo, first of all.  Don't miss the gumbo.  As far as your po-boy goes, get the duck po-boy.  Seriously.  Do it.  Or the paneed rabbit.  Or the cochon de lait.  Or the oyster.  Maybe you should go in a group and share.  Get it dressed, although I prefer dressed, no pickle, no mayo.  It's up to you.  Make sure to get a fountain soda, it comes in a to-go cup with a cool Crabby Jack's logo on it.  It has a lid, handy for not spilling your cocktail at Mardi Gras parades.

What do you mean, you've never been to New Orleans?  You've got to go.  Now.

I'm going next month.  You should come!

A tale of two sunsets

Manu National Park, Amazon rainforest, Peru  http://www.amazontrailsperu.com/

Another beautiful day in the jungle.  Scandalously steamy, millions of creatures all with their voices raised in a deafening cacophony of... peace, believe or not.  I felt nothing but peaceful.

We started at one of those clay licks, where the macaws gather to chow down in the early morning hours:

Then a day on the water:

 

We climbed to a platform on top of a tree for a bird's eye view:

 A perfectly perfect day.  Heading to the boat that would take us down the Madre de Dios river and back to our lodge, I saw this:

Wow.

         ____________________________________________________________________

Tony Knowles Coastal Trail, Anchorage, Alaska  http://www.trailsofanchorage.com/

My first day in Anchorage is always exciting.  It usually feels like there's a beehive in my belly.  I know good things are about to happen.  Today was no different.  I had just landed, and had over two weeks of wandering to look forward to.  Plus, I was flying up to Nome in the morning!

Gary picked me up and brought me back to his place, where I refreshed myself on the house rules:

Got it.  I think.  No guns on the floor, right?  And check your... wait a minute...



I got to my favorite spot and made myself comfortable.

Gary tossed me the keys to his extra truck and said, "Here! I gotta go back to work!  Have fun!  See ya!"

Gary is awesome.

 I enjoyed the sun for a while, then decided to go pie-rootin.  If you don't know what pie-rootin is, email me for a definition.  wanderlust613(at)gmail.com  Maybe I'll post one on here someday, for all you non-New Orleanians out there.



So I drove downtown, went here and there, up and down, hither and yon.  Saw this somewhere along the way, which I took as a very good sign:

When it got later in the evening, I decided to go to Earthquake Park.  Being outside is the whole point of going to Alaska, and I wanted to try to spot a moose.  That area is a good place to find one, especially at dusk, or Alaska's version of dusk, anyway.

I love moose.

So I wandered all over Earthquake Park, up and around, in and out.  Found lots of moose tracks, but no moose.  So I decided to walk along the Coastal Trail, maybe I could at least spot a pretty sunset.  I love the Coastal Trail, it's one of my favorites things about Anchorage.  I found this helpful sign:

Thanks Bill!












Walking around a bend, I came across this.  Jackpot.

Heading back to the truck, the bees in my belly were starting to wind down.  The tingle will never completely leave as long as I'm in the state, but it gets drowsy sometimes.  The air smelled like trees and the wind was so quiet.  As I pulled out of the parking lot, look who was having a snack across the street!

As I drove up Northern Lights Blvd., heading to Baxter, the buzzing in my belly was starting again.

Nome Sweet Nome, volume 1

Finally made it to Nome this past summer.  Why?  Among other reasons, to put a check mark next to another one of my childhood dreams.  Funny how so many of them include Alaska...

Anyway, I've had a burning desire to go to Nome for a very long time.  Lots of reasons why.  So you can imagine the electricity I was feeling when the plane landed.  I was nearly overcome with joy:

I collected my bag from the tiny baggage claim and went to get a taxi.  It was then I realized I had forgotten to go online and find a place to sleep for the next three nights.  Oops.  I just hadn't had time, to be honest.  I was working so much...

Taxi driver: "So, where to?"

Me: "Good question!"

Taxi driver: just sort of looks at me

Me: "Take me to the Visitor's Center!"

So he did.  The kind and pretty young lady gave me a list and I found a room available at the Nome Nugget Inn.  It had a beautiful view.

 I settled in and went to get myself a vehicle.  Nome is remote, really fucking remote.  You can only access it by boat or plane.  But they have about 350 miles of dirt roads that go... nowhere really.  Nowhere and everywhere, all at the same time.

To an abandoned gold dredge:

 

All the way the fuck out to Teller:

And even to the Safety Roadhouse:

The jeep got pretty dusty:

The electricity that was with me when I landed remained long into the night.  I'm sure the brightness of the night sky helped things along in that department.  This was taken at 2:30 in the morning.

  It never got much darker than that.  Trust me.  I didn't do much sleeping while I was there.








Coming up next in volume 2 of Nome Sweet Nome: Why didn't she sleep?  What did she do?  What happened to her Qiviut nachaq?  The places she went, the people she met, all this and more in volume 2 of Nome Sweet Nome!
http://www.visitnomealaska.com/