Neurotic? Just a little...

It's ten-thirty at night and I just got back from the gym and I had it in my mind to go upstairs, eat a sandwich and go back out for a drink (or three), but apparently the doorman thinks I'm in for the night because when I came in he said, "OK, goodnight wanderlust!  See you tomorrow!"  And I said, "OK, goodnight Cesar!  See you tomorrow!"  So now I'm trapped in the apartment until after midnight when he leaves because I want him to think I'm a nice, respectable girl who gets home from the gym and goes to bed, not the kind of sleazy, alcoholic girl who goes out to bars at eleven o'clock at night on a Thursday.  You know, the kind of girl that I actually am.

I'm starting to think maybe I'm not cut out for having a doorman.  I might be just a wee bit too neurotic for that shit.  This isn't the first time something like this has happened.  More than once I have waited until after five o'clock (when the night shift guy comes on) to leave the house because I had some crazy idea in my mind that the day shift guy had seen me coming and going too many times.  Especially when I was running around job interviewing, I would leave the house all dressed up, come back a couple of hours later, leave again, come back.  I was like jeez, this guy probably thinks I'm a fucking hooker.  

So because I'm crazy and I think too fucking much, I'm trapped inside for a little while tonight.  With nothing to do but think.  And look at the ugly carpet.  Which can't be good.  Because that's why I'm stuck inside in the first place.  The thinking part.  Not the ugly carpet.  The ugly carpet was what made me want to LEAVE tonight in the first place.  

I know.  I need to get out more.  But it's hard.  You know, with all the doormen and all the thinking...