Monday, November 8, 2010

Busy doing nothing

I'm glad it's raining today.  It makes me not feel so bad about not wanting to leave the house.  I've been feeling guilty about that lately, not wanting to leave the house.  I feel like I should be out exploring and doing and seeing and enjoying.  Instead I mostly feel like staying home, re-reading Kurt Vonnegut books and fucking around on the internet.  My mind is turning to mush and I'm in danger of losing my social skills.

That's entirely untrue, by the way.  My mind is overloaded with thoughts and information and I think a mile a minute and it drives me insane.  My social skills are better than ever, as I have constant interaction with clever, interesting people all the time.  At work, on the subway, in the bagel shop.  Everywhere.  I had a bunch of friends already here when I moved, and I've made a bunch of new ones too, I'm certainly not lacking in the socialization department.

But more often than not lately, I can't be bothered to leave the building, preferring to sequester myself away up here on the sixth floor and stare out the window.  Lately I've been needing to take a break from the world.  Days like today are great, because I feel validated.  Who the hell wants to go wandering around when it's shitty and wet and cold outside?

Actually, you know what?  I do.  I'm bored.  I feel like I'm wasting time.  I want to go wander around my neighborhood.  Or some other random neighborhood.  I want to go to the library and try to find a Kurt Vonnegut book I haven't read yet, or maybe someone entirely new I've never read before.  I want to take a break from taking a break from the world.

Leave it to me to finally get motivated in a fucking rainstorm.

1 comment:

Crafty Green Poet said...

I was glad of rain today so I could stay in the house. I know what you mean though, after a while, I get restless and need to go out, even if it is raining...