Holy shit! Whose fucking apartment is THAT? It's a fucking mess! What? MINE? No way. I don't even recognize it. Where's my big, beautiful, beloved couch? Most comfortable couch ever?
Oh yeah. Those guys from craigslist came and got it.
Where's that crappy table and even crappier computer desk that Justin gave me?
Oh yeah. Jen took them the other night.
Where's... all the rest of my shit?
Oh yeah. I brought it to Goodwill.
I'm actually feeling pretty good about this move, even though I have to leave Sunday morning and all that stuff still has to go in my car. Feeling pretty good, because the other day when I went to the Goodwill to drop off all that shit, I got an awesome parking spot two cars behind this one:
See? Everything's going to be fine. On my way home. Just in time for Superbowl. Who dat!